I thought I was prepared, but all the changes took me by surprise.
Our daughter started at a school daycare center when she was 1. And she stayed in the same school until it was time to go to our neighborhood public school for kindergarten last August. We put in for the Pre-K lottery at the school (hello, no tuition!), but alas, we didn’t get it.
She has always absolutely loved school: she loves her teachers and creates special bonds with them, she loves her friends, and her friend’s parents have become our very best life-long friends.
She went to school everyday from about 7:45 to 5, so we knew that staying at school an entire day come kindergarten wouldn’t be that big of a shock – it would just be a different school, with a whole new set of friends. Which is a lot I know.
I also figured since the school was in our neighborhood, we had neighbors who were already there, and since we were very much involved in the community, that we would hit the ground running right away.
We did a week-long summer Kindergarten camp at the school. She made friends there and she loved it! She got to be in the building every day for a week, do a test run of pick up and drop off, and learn more about what to expect come her first real day of Kindergarten.
And while we all felt very ready (besides my mama heart looking at her big backpack and wondering where my baby had gone), I don’t think we were quite as prepared as we thought we were.
Here are 3 things I learned about the big kindergarten milestone:
I was used to more communication
News flash: when your child enters kindergarten, gone are the days of hourly pictures, meal updates, and constant messaging with teachers. And while I knew that was going to be the case, I was still surprised by just how much it bothered me.
We walked her in on the first day of school (the only day parents were allowed to physically walk their kids into the building), and off she went. She was a little reluctant at first, but then she headed down the long hallway to her classroom.
Meanwhile, my brain immediately started spiraling. As the day went on and we only received one update from the teacher, I couldn’t help but wonder: What was she actually doing? Did she even make it to her classroom? Did she eat enough lunch? What about her water bottle? Did she remember to drink from it?
It’s been almost eight months now, and I can confidently say it got easier with time. Every month was a little better — and eventually she started giving me her own recaps of the day each afternoon. But for a while there, I definitely felt a bit in the dark.
As the daughter of a teacher, I know how chaotic and nonstop that job can be. Teachers barely have time to sit down, so I absolutely don’t blame them for skipping frequent updates. It was just an adjustment.
And honestly?
It’s probably a good thing for me — fewer distractions during the day, and it’s actually really fun to hear about her day straight from her..
Um… carpool made me a nervous wreck
Why is no one talking about how stressful car drop-off can be at a big school?
It’s a well-oiled machine, of course, but as a new family I constantly worried I was doing something wrong. Was I pulling up far enough? Was I stopping too early? Was she taking too long to get out of the car?
This is not a complaint – there are so many amazing teachers and parents helping get kids in and out safely every day. But wow, I was so nervous about messing it up.
And then there were the random thoughts running through my head. What if my dog jumps out of the car? (Lol. But also… seriously.)
Eventually I learned that getting there a little earlier helped calm my nerves. We waited less, things felt less rushed, and the whole experience became much more manageable.
Now my daughter unbuckles her seatbelt, grabs her backpack, and opens and closes the door all on her own. But for a while there? The whole process made me a nervous wreck.
Finding our footing as a new family at the school was slower than I expected
We had just left a school we’d been part of for many years – a place where we knew the communication style, the administration, and all the teachers. I think I naively assumed we’d jump right into that same level of comfort at her new school.
But it didn’t quite work that way.
Suddenly there were different apps to download, multiple ways the school communicated (seriously… could there be any more?), questions about what was appropriate to message the teacher about, and the ongoing mystery of where to find the lunch menu.
We love our school, but as first-time kindergarten parents it felt a little overwhelming. And after talking to other moms – both locally and around the country – it seems like a pretty universal experience. There is a lot to learn as a new kindergarten parent, and at first it can feel like you’re clueless… all the time.
That said, like everything else, it gets easier. Over time we’ve settled in, planned playdates and moms’ nights out, and finally feel like we’ve gotten the hang of this kindergarten thing.
But phew – I’m not sure I was totally prepared for that learning curve.
If you’re in a similar boat, I promise it gets better. Eventually you’ll find your people – the moms you can text with random questions – and you’ll start to pick up on all the little nuances of the school and the grade.
