Now that I’m newly blonde, I’ve been getting lots of compliments, which I really didn’t expect. Not the compliments; those make sense because my hair looks great. No, It’s the blonde hair itself that came as a surprise because I got it from a specialized technique called “grey blending.”
I’ve never been bothered by my grey hair. My mother found my first one when I was eleven-years-old and yanked it out without telling me about it. She thought it might upset me. But when they started popping up more frequently in my twenties, I liked the way they broke up my otherwise solid curtain of dark hair. Then I started working as a commercial actor. As an Asian woman I had to maintain a youthful appearance in order to work.
Thankfully, times have shifted and we are now in an era marked by the “Silver Sister” movement. Women of all ages are embracing their natural grey and the media is following suit. I decided it was time to let my greys grow in cold turkey.
Three months later I found myself in front of my computer googling, “Help, my head looks like a skunk” and stumbled upon an option that I’d never heard of: grey blending. It was touted as a seamless transition for women who were ready to let their silver fox flag fly but didn’t have the patience for a natural grow-out. I spent the rest of the afternoon on YouTube watching a grey blending specialist transform client after client from Cruella Deville to Lady Gaga at the 2015 Grammys (OK hers was a wig but still the platinum-grey color was stunning). Everyone’s final look turned out a little different, but for the most part, in just one session the skunk stripe was replaced by a mane of gorgeous grey.
I didn’t understand why everyone wasn’t using this method. Then I found out that a single grey blending session with this stylist would cost me more than the total amount I had paid to cover my greys for an entire year.
OK, that’s why.
Before I go on, you need to know something about me; I am not good at adulting. If I was in charge of the family budget we’d be living out of a shopping cart filled with products that TikTok told me to buy. Unlike my husband who makes large purchases the way grown ups are supposed to, I’m an impulse buyer. Comparison shopping? So much work! Research? Booo-ring! Harboring unrealistic expectations by turning a blind eye to facts? Yes please!
I booked the appointment. And I was excited. I was going grey!
Three weeks later I was in the colorist’s chair. She began by reiterating that grey blending often requires multiple sessions. She couldn’t predict how well my box-dyed-for-a-gazillion-years dark brown would lift. In fact, it was possible that if it wouldn’t lighten enough I could wind up a brownish mushroomy color instead of gray (and was I ok with that?).
What she 100% did not say was anything resembling “I guarantee your hair will turn out exactly how you’re picturing it in your mind and you won’t need a follow up.” That is, however, what I chose to hear because I needed it to be that way. I couldn’t afford a second session, let alone a third. I told her I was fine with anything and we dove in.
The whole thing took a mere four hours (I thought it was gonna take eight to ten because, true to form, I didn’t ask). From the quick glimpses I managed to get with my cell phone, it seemed to be working and my colorist said she was pleasantly surprised by how well the color was lifting. Finally it was time for the chair spin reveal and I have to say I was dumbfounded by the final result.
My hair was grey.
Completely and totally grey.
Just like the ladies in the YouTube videos. In one session.
It worked! Magical thinking for the win!
My friends were complimentary. My son hated it (“you look like an old granny”). My husband tolerated it (“it’s not as bad as I thought it would be”). But I was thrilled. Until three days later when I washed, blow dried and styled the grey away. The colorist did say it would fade “a lot” in the next few days. But my grey didn’t fade. It was gone. I was blonde.
I panicked. What if people thought I dyed my hair blonde on purpose? I’m a fifty-seven year old Korean-American mom. I’m not cool enough to pull off blonde-Asian. I don’t even have any tattoos. I was mortified. Until, one by one, my girlfriends held me at arms length, looked deeply into my eyes and told me they unequivocally, wholeheartedly, loved it.
LOVED IT.
When I tried to explain it was the result of a botched grey blending job, they waved my justifications away. “No! You look ah-mazing!” It was clearly imperative that I understood just how much of an improvement this was over my former self.
I have no idea what to do now. I’ve never looked better but I can’t afford to stay like this. Plus, my roots are starting to show again so now instead of skunk, I’m giving albino badger. I just hope someone out there who is thinking of starting the grey blending journey can learn from my mistakes. Or, at the very least, become a stunning blonde. For a few days anyway.
