Here’s what I learned and what I wish I’d known.
When I was 37, I woke up one morning and immediately felt… off. We had just gotten back from a trip, so I blamed it on too much indulgence and that familiar post-vacation bloat. But as the months passed, it became clear this wasn’t just a temporary funk. My body was changing — in ways I couldn’t quite explain.
I’m definitely a body positive person, but the changes I started to see were extremely frustrating. I was gaining weight in all the areas you hear about as you get older: the booty, the arms, and most frustratingly, my belly. I’m a petite person so these changes were very noticeable to me – and I hadn’t changed anything I was doing – not a single thing.
Over the course of a year, I had to go up two jean sizes, learned my period was insanely irregular (almost gone, in fact), and my patience level was completely at a zero pretty much all the time.
I felt like I wasn’t even living in my own body and I also felt like no one else in my friends group was going through this. What was wrong with me?
After some intense bloodwork, which I had to pay for out of pocket since my primary care physician wasn’t willing to draw a large blood panel, things were confirmed: I was most certainly in perimenopause – in my 30’s.
Honestly, this wasn’t surprising to me because my mom also hit menopause super early (like she was totally done with periods by 40), but it was difficult to process.
It wasn’t about my fertility (we were very content with one child), but something about being completely out of control in my body felt very disheartening.
I’m 39 now, about to turn 40, and here’s what I’ve learned over the last two years of this transition to menopause (that I’m still very much in the thick of):
1. I needed to go on anti-anxiety meds for a bit to help with the changes
After a year of constantly stressing about my hormone levels, lack of period, and having a very short fuse around everyone…I went on a small dose of Lexapro for about a year and a half. And honestly, it was the best thing I could have done. It opened my mind – I felt calmer, cooler and much more grounded. No regrets. Honestly, I’m just not sure why I didn’t go on it sooner. I’m off of it now, but I’m a firm believer in doing what you need to do to feel good, for as long as it takes. When I was in the thick of feeling it all, my ob-gyn said to me “you deserve to feel happy and live in the moment. You deserve to feel good.” And that’s all it took.
2. Getting dressed was insanely frustrating
Honestly, I said no to a lot of social things for a while because getting ready to go somewhere just left me in tears. I didn’t like how clothes sat on my body and my closet was a disaster zone when I was done. I didn’t like anything I owned and I started to lose my confidence. Just know I see if you if you’re feeling the same!
3. I read books on perimenopause
In an effort to feel less alone, I proceeded to listen to a lot of books on Audible. Some were great and some were…not. Here are the ones I found most helpful:
Menopause Manifesto: I’ve been following Dr. Jen Gunter for a while now, thanks to her very honest take on health (anyone remember her take on Goop’s jade egg up the vagina?), so when I saw she had a book, I said sign me up! It didn’t disappoint. She explained what’s actually going on in a way that made me feel like I wasn’t going crazy.
The Menopause Weightloss Solution: This one wasn’t revolutionary, but it did provide some insight into how our hormone changes slow down our metabolism and how stress can affect pretty much everything.
The Hormone Shift: Dr. Taz owns a practice down the street from me, and it’s the practice that I had all my bloodwork taken at when I wanted answers. She’s funny, real, and made me feel less alone.
4. I decided 2026 was going to be my year and I made some changes
At the end of last year, I said I had had enough and wanted to feel more like myself. I decided that the best way to do that was to be more positive when talking about myself and focus on the things that I knew would help me feel better (no matter what my hormones decided to do!). And for lack of better words, get back to the basics. Here’s what I’m doing this year to feel better, and I’ve already noticed a lot of good progress because of it. Try it if you’re feeling stuck!
- I wake up and spend an hour with myself first and foremost: My alarm goes off, or rather, my Hatch light comes on at 5:15 each weekday morning. I know it’s early and a little annoying, but I get up and spend time drinking my coffee first thing (yep, on an empty stomach), eat a snack, journal, read, and then workout all before I get my daughter up at 6:30. It’s the only time of day I have to just be with myself and it’s sacred to me at this point.
- I write down 3 things I’m grateful for each day: Part of my morning routine involves writing down three things I’m grateful for, no matter what. Sometimes they’re small things and sometimes they’re big, but they’re all meaningful in my path to regaining myself.
- I’m focused on whole foods, but not obsessing: I always feel best when I eat real, whole foods consistently. It doesn’t mean I’m eliminating any foods or alcohol, it just means I eat to feel good and eat what tastes good – no obsessing, just a little planning and numerous trips to the grocery store.
Early onset perimenopause
I will check in mid-way through the year to tell you how it’s going and share more specifics of things that I feel have truly helped. We’re in this together!
