I love my OB-GYN. She has seen us through two miscarriages, one late-term pregnancy loss, and a high-risk pregnancy that sent me to the hospital at 31 weeks when my water broke.
She is one of my favorite people ever. In fact, after all that, she and my daughter ended up with the same birthday. How miraculous is that? Our miracle girl sharing a birthday with someone who helped us have her? There’s nothing better.
Exactly one year before we had our healthy daughter (again, I believe in miracles), she sat us in her office after we got a devastating piece of news about our baby boy in utero at 18 weeks. We stayed in her office for hours. Later that day, she personally called me on the phone to talk through our options.
Words cannot describe how much what she’s done for our family has shaped our life. She’s nothing short of an angel in our eyes. And many women feel this way about their ob-gyns.
The thought of leaving them is truly terrifying when we get to midlife, as women often have new needs and need to find new people.
I’ll start this article by admitting that I’m fortunate in that my OB-GYN has been amazing in walking me through peri-menopause so far, and that I don’t have plans to shift to someone else anytime soon. But the truth is that a lot of OBGYNs are exceptionally skilled at helping you get pregnant, keep a healthy pregnancy, deliver a healthy baby and take care of you postpartum. Once it comes to midlife, they likely weren’t trained (no fault of their own) for this next period of our lives.
To me, it makes sense. Most OB-GYNs receive their training in the above (thank goodness), so it would make sense to have others who are trained in menopause. But from what I’ve gathered, there’s simply not a lot of menopause-specific OB-GYNs out there. I can only hope that changes soon.
Last year, I read Dr. Tasneem Bhatia, MD’s book, The Hormone Shift, and I instantly fell in love with the way she explained menopause. It was real and validating, and honestly, it made me realize that perhaps I did need to have some additional testing done, just to be sure I was feeling the best I could as I transitioned into this next period of my life.
Dr Taz, as she’s called, is also the first person that came to my mind when we started Midlife Mom a few months ago! She was open to sharing the reasons that women might need to find a new (or additional) provider— plus how to find one.
Midlife Mom talks to Dr Taz about providers for perimenopause
MM: When should women seek help for bothersome menopause symptoms? A lot of us wait because we think, ‘We can’t possibly be in menopause yet!’
Dr. Taz: Women should seek medical help when menopause or perimenopause symptoms become disruptive to daily life or persist despite lifestyle changes. Symptoms such as hot flashes, night sweats, sleep problems, fatigue, mood changes, brain fog, weight gain, and depression are signs that shouldn’t simply be ignored.
MM: So what exactly is perimenopause and when does it begin?
Dr. Taz: Many people think of menopause simply as the point when menstrual cycles end and pregnancy is no longer possible. In reality, the body goes through a gradual hormonal transition leading up to menopause called perimenopause, meaning “around menopause.”
For most women, perimenopause can begin in your 30s, although the more obvious transitions last about four years, and the timeline can vary widely. Some may experience it for only a short period, while others may remain in this stage for much longer. Symptoms and experiences also differ from person to person.
Although perimenopause can bring uncomfortable symptoms, it is a normal and natural stage of life. While the hormonal changes themselves cannot be stopped, women do not have to endure the discomfort without support. Learning how hormones affect the body and recognizing common symptoms can help women make informed choices about nutrition, supplements, exercise, sleep, and daily habits that may ease symptoms and improve overall well-being.
MM: When is it time to move on from your beloved OBGYN, and how do we find a menopause provider when we’re ready?
Dr. Taz: It may be time to find a new OB-GYN when you feel unheard, dismissed, or unsupported, especially during major hormonal transitions like perimenopause and menopause. Women should not stay with a provider who minimizes symptoms, rushes appointments, or fails to discuss treatment options in a meaningful way.
MM: How do we find a menopause provider when we’re ready?
Dr. Taz: Look for a menopause provider who takes a comprehensive, personalized approach rather than focusing only on symptom management. I encourage women to seek practitioners who listen carefully, spend time discussing hormonal changes, and consider factors such as nutrition, sleep, stress, lifestyle, and emotional well-being alongside medical treatment options.
If you’re looking for a menopause-specific expert you can you can use The Menopause Society’s Find a Menopause Practitioner.
Outgrowing your OBGYN
Here’s the thing nobody tells you: it’s okay to outgrow your doctor. The OBGYN who was right for your 30s may not be the right fit for what your body is going through now— and that’s not a criticism of anyone, it’s just the reality of perimenopause being its own specialty. Dr. Taz’s advice? Trust your instincts. If you’re leaving appointments feeling dismissed or confused, that’s information. Use it.
